Who wears the pants? If you leave it short or don’t get it past the red tees, this joke or something like it is bound to get lobbed in your direction. We want to alter this trajectory. The better question is who wears those pants? TV and social media have blessed us benevolently with some of the most objectionable and downright outrageous pant decisions in recent years. Let’s take a quick survey, shall we?
Let’s start with these bronze bombers by the one and only Ian Poulter. When he’s not miraculously and incomprehensibly dominating the Americans in the Ryder Cup, he apparently moonlights as the host of the Hunger Games with these bad boys as his base. Yeesh. This is an old picture and it hasn’t gotten a whole lot better.
Apologies, but even the goat is not exempt from this list. You could provide clean energy to the entire state of California with the amount of wind blowing through those trousers. I mean…was he trying to smuggle Christmas hams down the fairway or what?
You’ve likely seen this before. This….is utterly shocking. For a minute, let’s ignore the goggles that Jarmo Sandelin somehow stole from Chronicles of Riddick. Let’s also ignore the shirt with the collar that would make Date Mike jealous. Let’s just focus on those prime zip pockets. Didn’t know Hot Topic had a golf clothing line? Now you do.
Mickey Mantle on the bottom and a crisp toilet brown on top…and gosh look at that power stance. Only pants like these could inspire such confidence!
Now, I know this is borderline golf blasphemy…but can we really just consider why knickers were ever a thing? I see only three main reasons why:
- Carry extra golf balls and shake a pant leg in the rough. “Found it!!”
- Loose change to jiggle to fluster your opponent
- Flasks on flasks on flasks
So if you, like us, are seeking a more trendy, versatile option…We’ve got you covered. Take a gander at Dresscode Vol. 1 below
Articles and videos that guide you to informed golf attire decisions.
How Augusta and Disney gained perfection.
Erik is a writer and teacher from Fort Lauderdale, FL. When he's not trying to figure out ways to golf for free, he's usually hanging out with his wife and Rhodesian Ridgeback, Koa. You can find more of his work at punchbowlgolf.co