Now Reading
If A Golfer Was A Green…

If A Golfer Was A Green…

The famous island green at TPC Sawgrass got us thinking: which golfer does this remind you of?

Erik Most

As THE PLAYERS Championship at TPC Sawgrass kicks off this week, an image of the famous green at No. 17 immediately lurches into our mind’s eye. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, the famous (and, some would say, infamous) green is, well, “better than most.”

But without the pioneering design of the 17th at Sawgrass, first imagined by Pete Dye’s wife Alice, the term “island green” might not exist at all. And the world’s other treacherous approaches might never have been created.

So to pay homage to this almighty Floridian theatre, we decided to compare island greens across the globe. As we dove into our thought experiment, a curious question trickled into our minds to help keep them straight: if these famous island greens were famous players, who would they be? Let’s find out.

The 17th at TPC Sawgrass

Closer look: How TPC Sawgrass' 17th played
The world’s first island green.

In a word: pure. Smooth in every way, with rounded edges. A dash of symmetry and captivating in a delicate sort of way. It just seems to…float.

Who else could this be…but PLAYERS Championship legend Fred Couples?!

fred-couples-1996
FRED COUPLES

The 18th at Great Northern

The premier island green of Denmark reminds us of an iconic LPGA golfer.

An immaculate green concluding a long par 5. This powerful hole demands a powerful swing while exuding grace strength in equal measure. Photographed by Jacob Sjoman, the hole is in a league of its own.

This island green? Maria Fassi.

MARIA FASSI

The 9th at Ponte Vedra Inn & Club, Ocean Course

A bigger island green than most.

Distended, girthy, a bit bigger than most. Asymmetrical and, for lack of a better word: bloated. Curiously rotund, and, to be perfectly honest, a little intimidating. Probably near a Hooters. Essentially, we’re looking at a belly attached to a spine. 

This one’s peak John Daly, but you already knew that.

JOHN DALY

The 15th at TPC Scottsdale

This one’s more about its outdoorsy setting than it is about the actual green of the par-5 fifteenth. Which TOUR player is most likely lumber like Bigfoot down from the nearby McDowell Mountains, grunt one to about 15 feet, roll in the birdie, catch a large-mouth bass from the lake, and scamper back to his cave dwelling abode?

I give you sporting enthusiast Boo Weekley.

BOO WEEKLEY

The 17th at Bro Hoff Slott Golf Club (Sweden)

The greatest island greens in golf
Quaint.

Now, conventional wisdom would suggest that we pick a Swede for this one, but I’m not quite sure that’s the right call. Henrik Stenson? That’s too spicy here. Plus, the hole is far too short for a 3-wood. Jesper Parnevik? He has way too much flair for a hole this…diminutive. I’m looking for someone who is straightforward, ho-hum, Point A to Point B. 

Plain. Dull. From this vantage point, the green looks to flow from right to left which, coincidentally, is just about the only shot this player can hit.

See Also
Double Bogeys And Diapers: Your First Father’s Day As A Golfer

What’s the DadEquivalent™ of 3-putting? Writer Erik Most sits down with RGC co-founder and COO Evan Roosevelt for an honest discussion about balancing fatherhood with a golf habit as they both approach their first Father’s Day.

The 17th at Bro Hoff Slott? It’s 100% Zach Johnson.

How a statistical miracle propelled Zach Johnson to one of the most  unlikely Masters wins ever | For The Win
ZACH JOHNSON

The 14th at Coeur d’Alene Resort (Idaho)

The Floating Green Returns! : Blog : Coeur d'Alene Resort
It’s safe to say this island green is a true island green.

Can it get more perfect than this? Flawlessly manicured. Idyllic setting. Peaceful. Picturesque. Undeniably attractive.

Unquestionably, this is Adam Scott. (If any man were an island, it’d be Adam Scott, right?)

Adam Scott Golfer Shirtless' is Most Searched Term on GuysGirl
ADAM SCOTT

The 18th at Turnberry Isle Resort

The Florida Golf Course Seeker: Turnberry Isle Miami - Soffer Course
A real Florida hole.

I’ll pull a Michael Scott mnemonic device technique here and just do some free association: Florida. Par 5. Long. Lots of water. Waterfall. Flowing water. Tears. Crying. Crying after the Masters?

Bubba Watson.

Bubba Watson Height, Weight, Age, Biography, Wife & More » StarsUnfolded
BUBBA WATSON

So there you have it, folks. By all means, please use the comments section if you have an issue with this rigorous scientific approach. Enjoy all the tee shots hit into the water at the Fred Couples hole this week!

View Comments (2)
  • Great stuff here again from Most.

    You’d find more balls in the water around these famous greens then in my urologist’s office…

  • Interesting comment, Dr. Mulligan. Most, I’d be curious to know what your rigorous, scientific approach would say about Tiger’s new 19th hole in Branson, MO.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

© 2020 Random Golf Club. All Rights Reserved.

Welcome to Random Golf Club

All are Welcome